My pain will be His
It will be a promise between us
My only gift, all that I possess
To Him I will give -
All my shame and all my sin
My fear and my hate
That black canker eating away
What no human eye ever saw.

They will see the smiles
They will notice the calm
They will talk of the plenty
But they will not know of the shadow,
A secret that hangs
Between Him and me.

Shadow dark and drear
Desperate and murderous
Seeking only to mutilate
Only to annihilate.

She is shrieking and kicking
Crying to be let out,
She is gagged and laced
With a seaman's rope.

Digging in deeper and deeper
Into her own flesh
She tears and cuts away
At her own flesh....and bone.

And all they ever will see
Is a sweet-smiling
Glass-eyed, pink-cheeked dolly.

When out of gratitude
She opened her mouth
-to give her heartfelt thanks,
All that would come out
Was her bloodied thumping
Heart.

- written in summer 1992 -